I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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