i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
