Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
