At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
