I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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