i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
