I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
