She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You ever have a fart follow you around?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize