She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
