Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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