I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
