Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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