News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
