I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
