how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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