Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
