We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
