But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
