Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
