is this the sara with the beer cane?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
