oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
