Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
