He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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