Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
