just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize