I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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