At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
