i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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