i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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