Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
