i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
