We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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