just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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