You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
