she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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