He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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