Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
