Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
