walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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