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• (972): View more from Texas

  I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.

  (1-972): View more from Texas

  I want to be a cop.

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• (631): View more from New York

  we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming

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• (424): View more from California

  I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  That depends, how hot is your boss?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He shit in the fireplace

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