covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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