I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
