matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
