she was so not down for the gang bang
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
