You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
