69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
