every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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