You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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