My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
