i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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