I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My hand turned me down
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
