i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
