Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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