he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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