So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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