I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
