its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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