I think I died a long time ago.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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